I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
