How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
