I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
