hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
