Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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