Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
