Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
