why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
