I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
