he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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