What a fucking waste of an outfit
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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