I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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