I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
