Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
