It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
