SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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