So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
