awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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