if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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