Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize