Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
