The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize