I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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