What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
