I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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