its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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