I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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