yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
