And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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