I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
