dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
