im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize