i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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