i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
