i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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