He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
worst night to have a conscience
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
