Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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