I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
