Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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