You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
