yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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