Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize