Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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