Kiss
Puke
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
