you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
