i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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