i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
