Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize