yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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