who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
