So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
