He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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