apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
