Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
