There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
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