My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
