You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
