im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize