Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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