Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I need water and some morals
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
