Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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