can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize