I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
