There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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