I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have fence marks all over my body
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
