you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
