I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Im just a social blackout drinker.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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