Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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