You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
