So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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