You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
