well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
