I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize