is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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