ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Come see our sink grown plant.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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