Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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