Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
