I understand Curling. That high.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
