Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
